Today we began anew.  At least that is how it seemed to me. 

October 31st 1999 John and I began a journey, together with family and some friends and started holding a church service on Sunday mornings.  We had been meeting as a Bible study on Thursday nights in a small office and then moved into a local elementary school.  So we started a journey that was exciting and we were anticipating the great things that God was going to do.  We named our church Maranatha Christian Fellowship. 

It was amazing to watch how the church grew and the relationships that were built because of it.  In the beginning John and his board of elders felt that the best type of advertising that we could do was by word of mouth.  That is how we grew.  We had a great youth ministry and worship team thanks to Scott, John’s brother.  John brought the Word and people were excited to invite their friends.  We would gather in someone’s home about once a month and shared a meal and we all became fast friends and ultimately family. 

I remember John saying that he wanted God to send us all the people who others didn’t want to love.  People that were hurting and wounded.  Some wounded by other people and some by church.  We saw this happen on a regular basis.  Some came and found the acceptance that they needed, some came and found the love and support that they had longed for in a church setting, and some came and found the family that they had been lacking. 

Several years later things began to change at the church.  Scott began to travel full-time and we hired a youth pastor/ worship leader.  That didn’t work out as well as planned but we pressed forward sensing a change coming.  John had had a vision of our church being torn down to its foundation and then God rebuilding it with the bricks that He had chosen. 

In the midst of things beginning to change for us at Maranatha, John had a church wide meeting and laid out a vision that he had for our church which included changing the church name.  The people got excited again and got on board with the name change.  We even decided together, to have a 21 day fast to start the new year & to pray together for the new direction we were going in.   We launched our new name, The Dwelling Place Community Church, on Easter Sunday of 2007.  

Somewhere in the mix though something happened.  I don’t really know what it was or do I understand it.  I still have moments of “what the heck” but whatever it was, it happened.  That church family that we had poured ourselves into, the ones we thought really had our backs, people who we had invested in spiritually, but more importantly personally, decided to…well…well they left.  There was no church ”scandal” (that might have made more sense), there was nothing going on that was ungodly or out-of-order, people just left.  I have said in the past here on this blog that it could have been that they saw it as a sinking ship and they better get off rather than go down with it.  John and I don’t really know.  What we do know, is that they are gone and it hurt.

Fast forward 10 years and one week to November 8, 2009.  Today our church, The Dwelling Place Community Church, started meeting in our home.  We currently own a beautiful building that sits on 5 1/2 acres.  We love that building.  It has our blood, sweat, and tears throughout.  It is a sad thing in a way to leave it behind but I am glad to.  Pray with us that it will sell soon.

I have watched people come and go in that building.  I found my best friend there and Jordan found hers.  I preached for the first time in that place, even though God had to force me to by keeping my speaker stranded on an airplane so that she couldn’t arrive on time.  I have decorated for weddings and Christmas Tea’s.  I threw Jordan’s blessing party for her 13th and her surprise 16th in that building.  Nathan was born just a couple of months before we moved in and I have raised him there.  Jonathan always climbed the shelf in John’s office to steal candy from the jar behind his desk there.  So lots of memories.  Good memories but today…today the memories start fresh, start anew.

Today we met in my home and started a new journey.  We started with a new and very different foundation.  We started with our friends and truthfully our family.  We started over today, started being what we are supposed to be…the church.  Church is not the building you meet in, it is you.  Today we ate, we prayed for one another, we worshipped, and we shared communion together.  Today Bryson (“my sunshine”) came and took a bite of communion bread from me and said “Mmmm, that’s good stuff”.  Now that is a memory; a good, new memory and he was right, Mmmm, that’s good stuff!

Sunday morning when I got to church my friend Sarah was sitting in the sanctuary with her son Bryson.  She hopped up and told Bryson “let’s show Amy what you can do”.  She put him down and told him to walk to me and he did, for the first time.  I was super excited and of course we clapped and cheered him along!  There is nothing like a babies first steps.  They are so proud of themselves and we parents know that this new found talent only leads to our eyes needing to become more watchful.

Bryson repeated this new trick for every person who walked in that morning.  Over and over he walked to different people while we all cheered him on.  He giggled and laughed and clapped his own hands as we were all quite content with the show he was putting on for us. 

In the midst of watching Bryson’s new talent I had a few thoughts that I wanted to share with you.  First let me say that I had the high priviledge of being in the delivery room when he was born.  It was truly the most amazing experience that I have ever had.  (Yes, it was amazing when my children were born, but come on I was in pain, so that made this way better!)  I have been in his momma’s life since she was 16 and got to lead her to the Lord.  She is 10 years younger than I am and I am 39.  (I don’t want to reveal her age here, it might be embarrassing.)  So needless to say it has been a long time.  Watching her become a mother, when for years I watched her carry my kids around on her hip, was and is a neat thing.

Back to what I wanted to share, these are the things I observed Sunday morning.

Bryson is full of Joy.  He truly is greatly amused by himself and others around him.  He laughs all the time.  Sometimes they are fake laughs, which are immediately followed by real laughs because that is even funny to him.  You can’t possibly spend anytime around him without feeling full of joy yourself and if you are down, he is a pick me up quite like no other.  His giggles are infectious and I dare you not to laugh with him.

Bryson is loving.  He gives the greatest open mouth kisses to anyone who will dare ask for the slobber.  He hugs and when you least expect it he might pat you on the back when you hold him or my favorite lay his head on your chest, just for a moment.  He knows how to love in the purest way.

Bryson doesn’t doubt he is loved.  He lights up when he says momma and dada.  He grins when either of them come into the room.  He knows who loves him and he responds in ways that tell you how aware he is of that love.

Bryson trusts everyone.  It is hard for most of us to trust everyone we encounter.  Sometimes it is because we have been hurt by other people.  Sometimes those people are some that you thought would never hurt you, yet for whatever reason they do.  Bryson doesn’t have to guess about this person or that.  He knows that if he is taking his first steps towards you and then throws himself forward just as he gets to you (which he does), he knows that you are going to catch him.  He did it over and over, with everyone he walked to.  He has no fear of his relationship with you, he trusts you even if he just met you.  It is sad that we are so wounded in life that we can’t have that kind of trust, it is long gone.

Bryson knows his needs are going to be met.  Bryson is an eater, no doubt about it.  If you ever question whether he is fed, just squeeze his thighs!  He is one precious chunk of a kid.  He knows that when he is ready to eat, that someone is going to feed him.  He also knows who will share their dinner with him.  We meet at our house every Wednesday night and Bryson knows that he can share dinner with mom, dad, me, Josh, Kaci, well pretty much everybody would share but he knows that we’ll take care of him.  This week he was walking around the table and decided to “do his business” and he walked right over to Josh, touched his leg and then looked at me and said “tinky”.  He knew that either one of us would take care of it, he knew who to tell.  (Just for the record, I dodged the tinky bullet, sorry Ben.)   

Bryson knows his Daddy loves him.  Sadly some kids don’t know this simple fact.  Bryson doesn’t doubt it.  He adores his Daddy and it shows.  He loves to walk to his Daddy best, play guitar with his Daddy, and just to be held by his Daddy.  Ben is wrapped right around Bryson’s pinky and it is a joy to watch the two of them together.

What we can learn from Bryson.  God loves us, cares for us, meets our needs, we can always trust Him, He is loving, and brings joy.  He delights in us as we should delight in Him.  I am so glad that I get to see Jesus with skin on, when I watch Bryson.  He is a joy and I know that he  demonstrates God’s love for me and everyone around him, just by being Bryson.  This was evidenced by the entire church cheering him on Sunday morning.  That is the kind of church God wants.  A family of people sharing the joy of one another, honoring one another, and having one another’s back when we stumble.  For those of you who are a part of my “family”  I promise to catch you when you stumble, love you always, and prove myself trustworthy.  Thanks for honoring John and I this past Sunday.   It meant more than words can express.  Feeling honored hasn’t been something that I have felt.  Lots of other feelings but honored wasn’t one of them, so thank you.

I love you Bryson and thanks for being my “Sunshine”.

I haven’t been writing on here for a long while now.  There are many reasons why I haven’t: too busy, not on the computer very often, enjoying Farmville too much on Facebook, but mostly because everything that I write here is seen by many people.  People who when they read the things that I say sometimes get overly offended by my words. 

I wrote a blog a long time ago, that to date is my most read, that made many people mad at me.  I wrote it from a very raw, deeply wounded place and entitled the blog: Warning My Emotional Rant.  I can tell you that the reason there was so much readership for that blog was because people were calling one another or emailing one another and saying “go read Amy’s blog, it’s awful (or offensive, or ungodly, or sinful, or whatever other description they used)”.

How come a person, who loves Jesus, can’t say how hurt they are or how devastated they feel.  Is it wrong that when people who you thought loved you, wound you and desert you, that you get really upset?  I thought that expressing my feelings here would help me process, and did until one day later when the “word on the street” was all about me and my offensive blog.  I didn’t mean to offend anyone, I was just expressing my hurt in words.  I couldn’t even put the words together that truly expressed my feelings, yet the words that I used were deemed wrong.  People couldn’t seem to remember the way I had loved them, supported them, encouraged them, been there for them, dealt with their emotional rants and never thought ill of them.  Something is wrong with that.  Something is really wrong with that. 

In the midst of all of this the one thing that I heard the Lord say to me was that I was not to defend myself.  I wanted so desperately to call people and explain, to make them understand, but God told me no.  This has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.  Do you know what it is like to know that there are inaccuracies in what people say and think and you are not allowed to respond to it.  At the same time I wanted to bless people out for treating me that way, for not remembering the good in our relationship and only focusing on the few words recorded on a blog site.

So the truth for me is that I haven’t been writing here, about how I really feel, or what I am going through for fear of the repercussions.  I don’t want to be a topic of discussion.  I just wanted to be able to be “real” here instead I feel like someone tied my hands and has restricted me from talking about where I really am emotionally, spiritually, and just where I am with life in general.  So instead, when I have written since then, I have been really cautious and guarded with my words.  I write about my kids or cakes I am making and not about the things that I am having to walk through personally.  How come that is fair? 

So I am just letting those of you who at one time were following my life here, this is why I have a hard time writing.  Because apparently it is ok for everyone else to voice their thoughts and feeling honestly but not for me.  However I am going to attempt to resume writing my thoughts and feelings here.  Maybe not as often as I would like but just as a way to process my life in words.  This is helpful to me.  So if you happen to be someone who was offended before, well…maybe it would be best for you to not read this blog anymore.  If you are truly interested in my life then remember the part of our relationship that ministered to you in your time of need.  I am only trying to press through the circumstances that I now face.  Don’t hold it against me.  I am still hurt and wounded. 

Truth be told at this point most of the offended people don’t give a rats behind about me and my blog anymore and I probably won’t be any point of discussion.  If however I am…think before you speak and cut a girl a break.

For those of you who love me, know me and my heart, who have my back, thanks for being in my life and supporting me.

Just an update on Nathan.  He has seen the chiropractor every day this week and seems to be making some improvement with his range of motion.  The first day that we took him he could barely look up or down and that has improved greatly. 

He has been quite the trooper wearing the neck brace.  I have to make him lay down pretty frequently because it starts to ache after he has been up for a while.  So he gets to lay on the couch and ice his neck take a pill, that the chiropractor prescribed, 4 times a day. 

The worse part of the whole thing is that the doctor told him he couldn’t ride his Uncle Johnny’s 4 wheeler while he is in Delaware.  Today at the chiropractors he was bargaining with the doctor.  “Just one ride?” ”How about if I wear the neck thingy while I ride?”  Maybe I have a lawyer on my hands because every answer from the doctor brought a “counter offer” from Nathan.  Poor kid.

As for me I am recovering slowly, thanks for asking.  I am tired from having to remember to give Nate his pills and getting the ice pack from the freezer and under his neck, just right.  Let alone all the doctor’s appointments.  This has been really stressful but I imagine that I will survive it.  Who would’ve thought that I was going to have all this to deal with.  Being traumatized has been rough. I’m just saying…

This week I am making another cake for a friend, a Transformers cake.  I’ll have to post pictures when it is done.  I have lots of ideas running through my head but they are a bit muddled by the whole “Nathan is injured and I am traumatized” thing.  So if the cake is terrible I really can’t be held responsible.

I just want to share what happened in the Emergency Room while we were waiting to have Nathan seen by a doctor. 

We arrived at the ER at 8:12 p.m. Sunday July 12, 2009 and as the EMS guys were helping me down from the back of the ambulance another ambulance was backing up next to us.  We got inside only to be shuffled into a room out of the way of the trauma that was coming in the door.  (I mean I was traumatized doesn’t that count?!)  My baby was on a back board with complete with neck stabilizer and head taped down.  I think that it should count as trauma, I’m just saying.

We had a nurse come in and “assess” the patient, nobody even bothered to ask me if I was feeling faint, or needed something to calm me.  She determined that he didn’t have a fever, had good blood pressure, that he wasn’t bleeding anywhere, and that I was his mother.  Still no one asked about me…whatever.

Then within 15 minutes of our arrival I had the registration lady come in to get all of our information: insurance card (so they could get paid), address (where to find us if we didn’t send money), social security numbers for John (who is going to pay with or without insurance), if he was our kid (duh, he looks just like his dad) and then we were told they would be back to finalize paperwork soon (take our money/co-pay).

Registration lady comes back 2 1/2 hours later and says here is the final paperwork, sign here (yes, I promise to pay you and I know that you will hunt me down if I don’t), and would you like to pay cash or credit (seriously right here in the room with my hurt baby)?  I hand her my credit card for the pricey ER co-pay and out she goes, but not before we tell her that we still haven’t seen a doctor.  She does a good job of expressing concern, since we have been here since 8:12 p.m. (this is how I know what time I got there).  She tells us the doctor has been assigned to us and she doesn’t know why we haven’t been seen.  She does tell us that the TV on the wall can be turned on to distract Nate.  (Which just for the record, I had mentioned this to John 2+ hours ag0 and was promptly told, that it wasn’t a regular TV because the ER wouldn’t have those in rooms.)  Needless to say this was funny to me (remember I am still in shock and no one has even asked about “me”) because we could have been watching something with Nathan to pass the time. 

Nathan is still laying on a back board crying over the fact that the back of his head “hurts so bad” from laying on the hard plastic.  He wanted off that board and out of that collar.  The doctor finally comes in 3 hours later, taps his arms and legs with his “little man” hammer, makes him squeeze his fingers, lift his legs and then says, “I think he is fine but we want a CT scan and then we will know for sure if his neck is broke”.  Well thanks Dr. Seuss we knew he needed an x-ray of some type, duh.  (Are you sensing my irritation yet?)  He does agree to take the back board out from under him but not the collar.

The nurse who followed the doctor in the room told us that several traumas had come in and that they are really busy.  Now I have all kinds of sympathy for hurt and wounded people but my baby is still laying with an uncomfortable collar on and he is hungry and sleepy.  (So am I but I am sure no one even cares about that) 

At this point now Nathan has to pee, but he can’t get off the bed and the nice nurse lady hands me one of those handy dandy plastic jugs and runs out of the room as fast as possible and leaves me with the job of helping Nate pee.  John is saying “I’m not touching him”  I’m just thinking this would be easier if I had a little help.  Yes, I got a little spray but no spillage, that is what you call success.  Nothing that a good hand wash with some soap won’t cure.

4  hours into our visit to the ER we have now found ourselves witness, via our ears, to a young man told that he has a broken pelvis in light of the 4 wheeler accident he had while under the influence.  We heard the policeman administer the Breathalyzerand then subsequently read him his rights.  Then we heard the man dissolve into hysterical crying upon learning that his girlfriend who was on the 4 wheeler with him had died.   

We heard 1 elderly man choking on the fluid in his lungs and moaning to leave, though he was in no shape to leave.  We saw another elderly man crawl down in the floor and lay down because they wouldn’t let him leave.  He hadn’t been going to dialysis and his kidneys were failing. 

So at 4 hours into our visit they finally come to get Nathan to have a CT scan and they roll us through the hallways of the ER and just like the TV show, the halls are lined with people with no room to go into.  It’s surreal.  Then they leave Nate in the hall outside the CT room to wait.  The CT tech makes some adjustments to Nate’s bed and in the process flashes John with more crack then he ever wanted to see.  Thankfully I am spared this “show”. 

I got to go into the room with Nathan while they did the scan and then we rolled him back to the room, still in the neck brace to await the results.  1:00 a.m, July 13th the doctor comes in and tells us that he still has a neck (idiot) and that it isn’t broken.  He takes off the collar and does nothing but tell us that he has torn ligaments in his neck and then 5 seconds later that it is badly strained.  I was left not really knowing what was wrong, other then he wasn’t broken.  He tells us to give him Motrin and then he leaves.  We begin to help Nathan up to leave and then the boy, who has been laying there that whole time not complaining over the neck pain, begins to hurt again so badly that he basically drops into his dad’s arms and begins to shake violently with pain.  We had to lay him back across the bed.  Now I am one hostile momma!  That ding dang doctor never stayed around to see if he could even get up, to check his range of motion, or anything that seemed at all compassionate towards my baby!  I looked at the nurse and said to her, “This is why I put him in an ambulance and brought him here.”  All she had to offer me was a Motrin before we left and she did manage to bring a wheelchair. 

That ride home was the most awful thing.  He cried in pain all the way home (without any neck brace because the doctor apparently found no need for one) while I rode in the back trying to hold his head still and John trying not to hit any big bumps.  John had to carry him up the stairs to his room ( he cried in pain the whole way) where I fed him at 2:00 a.m. while he laid down.  We prayed that he would recover overnight.

Next day a visit to the chiropractor got us an actual diagnosis (severely strained neck with vertebra out of place), a plan of “attack” for a cure, and crazy as it sounds, a neck brace to wear for at least 2 weeks!  Oh and I was comforted in the process…go figure! 

So note to self: heaven forbid there is a next time but if there is a next time, that we have a  possible neck break, stabilize the patient, take swig of something calming and call the chiropractor for a house call!  ER’s are for people who don’t really want a diagnosis, people who want to wait a really long time, no sympathy offered for mom, and for people who want to hear tragedy all around you.  Oh, and the ER does have TV’s for your viewing pleasure (my co-pay probably took care of that).

Yesterday we sent our two boys over to a friends house to swim, play, and spend the night.  They love playing at Chuckie’s house and we are glad for them to go because we very much enjoy the family and feel very comfortable with them spending the night with them.  John had mentioned that maybe he and I could go and do something since the boys weren’t going to be home.  We hadn’t made a real plan yet but I had already checked movie times for “The Proposal”. 

The boys had been gone for about an hour when Ann, Chuckie’s mom, called me and said that she thought that she needed me to come get Nathan.  I asked her what the problem was and she said that Nathan was complaining about a bad headache.  I asked her if I could talk to him so that I could assess how close my movie night was to being “ruined”. 

I know what you’re thinking, “What a terrible mom, all you can think about is yourself!”   Now before you get all mad at me for “not caring” let me just say that my children get headaches and usually it just requires a pep talk, prayer, and Tylenol and they are good to go.  I asked Nate if he wanted me to come get him and then the words I were dreading, “yeah, it hurts”.  So knowing that “my” night was a bust, I hopped up and got ready to leave and get him. 

A few minutes after I hung up with Nathan, Ann called me back to tell me what really happened.  Nate had been jumping on the trampoline by himself while her husband was in the backyard weed eating.  Nate jumped off the trampoline to the ground and fell to his knees and when he did his head snapped forward and then back real hard.  He jumped up and ran into the house and laid down on Chuckie’s bed and started to cry and when Ann asked him what was wrong he didn’t tell the whole story, just that his head hurt.

John and I got to her house to check Nathan out and when we tried to get him up to go he began to tremble with the pain and cry uncontrollably.  Now a momma knows when her baby is hurt and all of my mommy sensors were screaming, “he is really hurt, don’t move him”.  After a bit of back and forth “discussion” with John over the benefit of ambulance transport versus my minivan, 911 was called.  This of course caused a stir in Ann’s neighborhood.  Truth be told we all love to look out the window to see what is going on when the sirens are screaming down your street!  You know it’s true, don’t even lie!

The EMS guys were awesome and very gentle with Nathan and made this momma feel better about the fact that I had called them to take my baby to the Emergency Room.  Jonathan was fascinated with the neck brace and thought that it was really cool that they taped him to the backboard to get him out of the house.  

Now during this whole process Jonathan was taking pictures with his DSi and I had Ann taking photos with her camera of Nathan’s ambulance ride.  We got pics of him getting on the neck brace and the stretcher and getting in the ambulance.  Now I know that you may again be accusing me of being a terrible mother, but hey one day he will look at those photos and think that it was the coolest that I had the event documented!  (Stop laughing at me.)

I took photos in the ambulance and in the ER waiting on the doctor.  I got to ride with him and discovered that the city of Wilmington needs to fix the 17th Street / Shipyard intersection, that puppy was rough in the back of the ambulance!  I’d hate to think how it must be for some patients that are in extreme distress.  The driver told me that there are some times that when they are really in need of  hurrying to the ER that you come off the seat even with the seat belt on, at that intersection. 

I am happy to report that Nate didn’t have anything broken but has a severely sprained neck with a vertebrae out of place at the top.  Not that we really learned anything at the ER cause, well that is another story, but I have a fantastic chiropractor who is giving my baby the care he really needs to get better. 

I’ve included a photo of his ambulance ride, him watching TV in the ER waiting to see a doctor (3 hours) on a backboard, and one of him laying on the couch with the neck brace that the chiropractor has put him in for the next 2 weeks at least.  (Note, the ER doctor prescribed Motrin, I am one mad momma!)

“Nathan do you still have a girlfriend?”  “Mom!, I don’t want to talk about it!”

So the story is this,  I don’t know if Mackenzie is still in his life or not, it might have been that he was just feeling grumpy when I asked him.  More on this later.

Don’t you wish you lived in my house? Hahahaha!

“Mom, I’ve got a girlfriend!”  These are the words that every mother dreads to hear from her son.  Now you know that a mother and her son have a special bond that really is like no other.  I am supposed to be the ONLY “woman” in their life until the day that I approve of a girl for them to marry. 

I am the mother of 2 boys who have not expressed one bit of interest in the opposite sex at all.  I am the only one that gets their hugs and kisses, as it should be.  I should not have to share my love with some “little” girl who can never love them the way that I do! 

Sadly though, it would seem that I have been replaced by…Mackenzie!  Yes you heard me, Mackenzie!  To make matters worse she is 8!  I am talking about my youngest son, Nathan who just turned 9, two weeks ago today has a “girl” in his life named Mackenzie!  Now what business does a 9 year old have with a “girlfriend”? 

Yesterday he informed me that he and another boy in his class were competing for her at school and that the winner was going to get to kiss her and go on a date!  I asked him what he meant by “competing”.  So at the dinner table last night he tells John and I about why and how he is trying to “win” the girl. 

See Mackenzie is fickle and isn’t sure if she like Nathan more or the other boy.  So my brilliant son said that he suggested that they have a competition for her.  So on the playground yesterday they ran laps around the field to see who was fastest, climbed the monkey bars, and “you know mom, swing and jump out to see who gets the farthest”!  Now I want you to know that John and I are busting a gut at this point because he is explaining everything so, matter of factly!  It was all we could do, to keep it together as he explained that they had had a tie for the day and that tomorrow they would know who won!

Now Jonathan is listening to all of this and he is wanting to know all the details about the “prize”.  Where are you going on your date?  (“school”)  Where are you going to kiss her?  (“I don’t know”) So on and so on.  Meanwhile I am explaining to Nathan that I had already told him that he wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend until college (one can hope) and that if he got caught kissing her at school he could get suspended from school or worse. (Scare tactics where in full effect.) 

My one glimmer of hope was placed on the other boy…Lord please let him win!  Sadly, Nathan informed me of his victory today.  A moment of pride in his success was quickly squashed by this new found “woman” in his life.  Here’s hoping that they break up on Monday. 

I just know that that little girl better not call my house, lest she get a lecture from me about how “nice girls don’t call boys”.  That’s what my momma always told me and dag gone it, she’s gonna hear it too, whether she wants to or not! 

I am sure there will be more on this another day!

Aaahh…the sounds of running water through the pipes of the house, banging of wood and sound of a wireless screwdriver around a door frame, sizzle of food cooking, John shouting “BOYS!”, the dryers buzzer ringing 4 times in a row, the tapping of fingernails on a keyboard, this is a good life. 

The water is from the outside hose that the boys have rigged up to run through the metal tubing that was once the safety net around our trampoline.  (A hurricane destroyed it).  The pipe runs across the backyard and up into a tree. 

 I know what you are thinking, what smart, creative boys you have.  Here is what I think, what a muddy mess they are going to be when I call them in for dinner!  I am going to have to hose them down before they step a foot through the door and lets not even talk about the muddy clothes that I have to wash!  Alas, this is also why John is shouting!

The best news of the day comes in the form of noise around the door frame to my kitchen door.  John and I usually get a tax refund every year and with it we usually pay off debt and buy one thing usually for the house.  Last year it was a grill and the year before that a set of furniture for the deck.  This year I finally have a storm door to the deck, complete with hide-a-way screen!  I can open my kitchen door and enjoy the spring breeze.  So the sounds of screwdrivers and banging is a welcome noise!

Dinner is on the stove and in the oven, Chicken Fettuccine Alfredo, Jordan’s favorite is almost done.

The dryer is hollaring at me to come and unload and reload.  How does the laundry get so piled up?  I know that there is a sock monster, but there has to be a grunge monster too.  Then again now that I think about it the monster has two names, Jonathan and Nathan!

My fingernails need clipping but they remind me that I am having a moment to myself as I blog.  This is a good life, although sometimes it is hectic, it is good.  Full of a great family, wonderful in-laws, a handy ”HOT” husband, food to eat, dryers that dry, doors that let in a breeze, water that cleans as well as it makes mud, and fantastic friends!  Thank you Jesus!

You know there are days when life is easy, there are no bumps, no hiccups, nothing that stands in your way and it is so easy to love Jesus and follow Him and know that He is in control.  Then there are days when every speed bump, every obstacle, every hateful, hurtful thing trips you up.  Those are the days when you wonder where Jesus is in the midst of it all. 

I know that you know what I am talking about.  Good days and bad, easy days and tough days, hope days and despair days; we all know which we prefer.  I am usually a “good, easy, hope, kinda girl and it is rare for me to have the other kinds of days, but I have experienced them.  It is those days that cause us to wonder about God’s plan for our lives.  In the end I know He is in control and that He is holding me in the midst of my struggles.  Sometimes though it is hard to feel His arms around me. 

But let me point this out; when the days are good we might know that God is in control but does it cause us to seek Him?  I know that on the tough days I am up in His face saying, “You have got to see me through this!”  Shouldn’t we be up in His face everyday thanking Him for whatever the day is bringing?  You know its true.  You know you are as guilty as I am. 

Makes you wonder why sometimes everything is rough, hmmm.  Might it be He just needs to know we still think of Him, need Him, want to talk to Him?  Maybe that messes with what you think God is about.  I don’t think He is “making things happen to me”, but I do think that in the things that He allows, He must find great joy and pleasure in our reaching out to Him.  So maybe we should remember Him in all things, but especially on the good days!

Oh, just for the record, I am having a good day, so worry not about me!