It is amazing when I consider the way that God moves. He sometimes doesn’t answer the way that you expect and sometimes He moves way slower then you think is fair. Sometimes God doesn’t seem to move at all and I think that is the most difficult to understand. I know though in those times that I have to “choose” to believe and trust that He has things in hand. I find myself having to “rally” my faith and choose to “know” that the answer is coming.
I have found myself putting my rally hat on, pressing through my emotional state, and trusting when the problem seemed too large to handle. In choosing to do these things I finally am experiencing the peace that I so desperately needed. All of the answers are not there, everything is still not “right with my world”, but I know that regardless of how things play out, I am ok.
I talked with someone from my high school, graduating class the other day and he has walked through some incredibly difficult times. I asked him if he and his wife still loved one another, did he have his children, a roof over his head, and Jesus in his heart. He said he did and I told him that in all of what we have been walking through, those things are what is important. Everything else that we deal with is the “small stuff” in life, Jesus is the “BIG stuff” and if we cling to Him then we know that we will be fine. He is able and we must remember that no matter what we walk through He is with us. Even when we feel alone.
These days I am “counting it all Joy” and for me joy is the key to my life. If I can’t find my joy, then Amy disappears and isn’t recognizable. I am reminded of that little song that Dori the fish sang in Finding Nemo: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming” you know the tune. Well I am singing “just keep smiling, just keep smiling”. I don’t intend to disappear into some person that no one knows, but I intend to find my joy in the midst of trial and be happy no matter what. I am proud to say that that is where I am today, happy. Things in my world are upside down and not exactly what I think they should be, but I trust the Jesus in me to see me through, no matter how much more I may find myself hurt or sad or whatever. I “choose”, do you?
