Exercise and My Life is an Adventure! February 28, 2011

Well today, February 28, 2011 is proving to be an adventure.  It started early with dragging my tired self out of the bed and going for a walk/run.  My definition of run goes something like this: walk fast, pump arms, walk faster, faster, look like an old woman who is running, huff and puff, nearly die, breathe even heavier, desperately try not to pee your pants, slow down to a really fast walk, walk a little slower but still pumping arms, walk without pumping arms, breathe heavy, stretch in front of the house, finally and drag yourself up onto the porch and flop into the wicker chair and wait till the breathing slows! 

Now granted, I am doing something and I am definitely sweating but hopefully this description will change as I continue to drag myself out of the bed in the morning.  There had to be a start though and today was the day.  I have got to get my body back into shape and this is just one way to begin the process.  I’ve been saying for months now that I was going to get back on my diet in February…guess the last day of the month qualifies and keeps me from being a liar.

After my morning exercise I got the kids up and moving and out the door, got my shower and then headed to Sarah and Ben’s house to watch Bryson and Eli.  I did 3 loads of laundry, loaded the dishwasher, picked up the play room, folded 2 of the loads of laundry plus one that she had washed, played with the boys, read to the boys, fed the boys and stuck to my diet all the while. (Yeah I know, you wish I watched your kids…babysitter who does laundry!)

 Now I am sitting in the Honda dealership with my van having the front brakes replaced.  I however have lots more to do today.  I still have to make sure that Nathan does his homework, get everybody to the chiropractor, make dinner, get Jonathan to do his homework and get at least one late assignment done, and finally take Jordan to the chorus booster meeting.  When I get home tonight I do believe I will collapse.

 I am committed to NOT doing anything tomorrow because some days shouldn’t be such an adventure!

I want to be cool… February 24, 2011

Nathan had his first soccer practice today.  Now let me just say that he has been begging to play soccer forever and it always seemed that we missed deadlines and he hasn’t gotten to play.  Well this December I took the kids to the Wilmington Christmas Parade and someone from the soccer league handed me a flyer with deadlines, costs, and how to register.  It was as though the angels themselves sang a Hallelujah chorus because Nate was all over that.  He decided that he wanted to get signed up to play for a Christmas present.  This momma was on it and got Santa accessorizing with cleats, shin guards, long socks, and a ball.

I wish you could have seen him out there today.  He grinned from ear to ear the entire time and was loving his first time experience on the “official” soccer field.  He was aggressive and not afraid to go for the ball.  He was in heaven and it was really obvious to me that this was the best Christmas gift he could have ever gotten. 

However as we headed back to the car with new uniform in hand and an education on the need for a pair of soccer cleats, Nathan made the following statement: “Quit calling me ‘Big Man’.”  “Nathan are you telling me what I can and can’t call you?”  “I am” “Why Nate?” “Because I would like to be cool mom.”  Hmmm…guess my nick names aren’t cool.  Bruhahahahahaha!  Oh the joys of parenting an almost 11 year old.

Who gets to be #12… February 7, 2011

Tonight I attended my daughter, Jordan’s class ring ceremony.  This was a new thing to me since at my small Christian school, where there were only 15 people in my senior class.  There was no “ceremony”, Josten’s delivered our rings and we all put them on and showed them to one another and to the envious class members a year behind us. 

Jordan has been super excited about her ring (she should be cause it was expensive) and couldn’t wait to go tonight.  She asked her boyfriend, Ryan to come and go with us so we all piled into the van and headed to the school.  We got there just as they were beginning and we grabbed our seats with Jordan sitting on the end of the row, because she had to walk up on stage to get her ring.  The kids went up one at a time to get their rings and Jordan made me and Ryan promise not to yell and squeal with delight as she walked up to get her ring. (What a stick in the mud, a mom has the right to embarrass her child, after all I did suffer in labor with her. No way am I gonna be quiet when she graduates.)

Once everyone had their ring they talked about the “turning of the ring”.  Now again, this was something new to me (that or I am now too old to remember doing it, no wait I am not old, so it’s new)  The idea is that you have 12 close, important, friends turn your ring to represent  the year you graduate.  The first 11 people turn the ring towards your pinky and the 12th person turn it towards your heart, so the 12th person is supposed to be someone really special in your life.  Someone who is always there for you, someone you really love.

Now of course I am sitting here thinking ok, who gets to turn the 12th turn?  Is it me or her daddy, or OMG is it going to be Ryan?  Turns out Jordan decides that she wants to wait and have some of the friends that weren’t at the ceremony turn her ring and #12 is, to be announced. Dang it!  I have to wait to see who “wins” most important person in her life or so I thought…

Turns out, Grand-daddy wins.  She informed us that she couldn’t decide between her dad and me so she was going to let Grand-daddy do it.  Hey at least it’s not some boy, I can live with that!

God’s mall appointment? February 3, 2011

Today was an interesting day.  This morning I got the kids up and out the door for school and headed to the shower so that I could be ready to watch Bryson and Eli.  I watch them twice a week while their momma, Sarah, teaches college.  Sarah called me though, to tell me that Eli didn’t seem himself at all and that she was gonna take him to the doctor and would I go with her to keep Bryson occupied while she waited to be seen.  She picked me up and we arrived at the pediatrician’s office at 9:00 am.  Around 10:30 Sarah suggested that I take Bryson to the mall to see the “spinny thing”, otherwise known as the carousel.  I thought it was a great idea because I had gotten a $25.00 gift certificate to Lane Bryant, that was about to expire and I wanted to use it. 

Nothing like taking a toddler shopping, however you don’t know my Bryson…he’s an amazing shopping partner.  The worst thing you have to deal with is his constant, verbal, onslaught of questions!  Why is the spinny thing not working?  Does the spinny thing need new batteries?  Why do you have a pink shirt? Are you going to get the red shirt?  Is that your blue sweater?  You get the picture; he has an amazing desire for knowledge, even if you don’t think it’s important.  

When we got into Lane Bryant I couldn’t help but notice how incredibly hot it was inside the store.  Now usually it is incredibly cool in that store. (Probably because the women who shop there are…umm…well…voluptuous.  We are some amazingly beautiful people but we are hot natured!)  So I am ready to come out of my sweater and I tell the girl at the register that it is really uncomfortably hot.  She assures me that  they have the air on but it hasn’t been able to catch up and cool off the store yet. 

I head to the dressing room, Bryson in his stroller, and try on a couple of shirts.  This of course, makes me hotter but I am going to be finished at the register soon and out of there.  While at the register Bryson starts to squirm and pinch his “manhood” which we all know is a tell-tale sign of a need for a bathroom.  So I cheer him on with “keep your pants dry”,  ”it won’t be long”, “almost done buddy”.  Next thing I know the employee, who I know has heard me talking to Bryson about the potty, says to me “I need a minute”.  Now I am thinking, Girl where the heck are you going, can’t you see I have a toddler who needs to pee?  I encourage Bryson to hang on and next thing I know I hear a bang near the door and watch her collapse and slam her head on the floor.  I am in shock, run over to her shouting “are you ok”, and she is out cold, non-responsive.  There are no other people in the store, no other employees and I have no phone signal in the store.  There is not even a phone that I can use in the store.  (So much for calling 911 when you need to.) She is laying across the doorway to the back room and I can’t even tell you how in shock I am.  I start knocking on the back room door and I slam it open and start yelling to see if anyone is there and that I need help.  Finally 2 other employees come to the door to find her laying there.  I explain what has happened and then tell them I have a toddler who needs to pee.  I then proceed to step over the girl with Bryson in hand to rush to the potty.  I get back and she is still out cold.  She was unconscience for at least 10 minutes and while she was out I find out that she is 5 months pregnant and that she has had a previous problem pregnancy.  She finally came around and of course starts to cry.  My heart broke for her, she was scared, laying in the floor and her head really hurt.  I know it had to because I had seen it hit and bounce.

I believe that I had a God appointment today.  If I hadn’t been in the store, she would have laid there alone until she came around.  Even though she hit the door where the other girls were, they never heard a thing.  She wasn’t with it and didn’t speak for at least another 5 minutes after she came around.  Would she even be able to get up?  As it were,  I was able to encourage her, tell her that I would pray for her, and was able to pray for her the whole time I was with her.  When I left the mall I encountered the ambulance and followed it half way to the ER, so I got to pray some more for her health and the baby.  A God appointment?  I think so.

Eli is fine, though he didn’t seem to be this morning.  What was that all about this morning?  Who knows but when the opportunity presents itself what do you do with the opportunity? 

I will be going back into the store and checking up on how she is.  Who knows what opportunities will present  themselves when I do, but I am gonna go with it.  Are you open to God appointments?  Do you even see them as His appointment?  Maybe you should look for His opportunities so that you can be about His business and not just your own.  I dare you…

Lulu the Invader September 12, 2010

Well, our family has a new member…Lulu. She is an orange and yellow tabby cat that my daughter’s boyfriend gave her for an early birthday present.
Now don’t get me wrong she is super cute and seems to be really good natured, and I like to open Jordan’s door first thing in the morning, to see her.  However, we have two other cats who are not happy about the invasion of their territory.

Baby Girl, who has been with us for 7 years is really ticked off about it. Charlie who we have had for 6 years isn’t too excited either, but Baby is really mad. She has finally decided it is safe enough to come out of our room to eat but has growled and hissed and chased Lulu under tables and chairs. I keep trying to reassure Baby that she won’t hurt her and that she is still my girl, but she won’t hear of it.  That little bratty cat is in her home!
Most of us don’t like to have our worlds invaded by strangers. We are comfortable with what we already know and understand. We call it our “comfort zone” and heaven forbid someone mess with it.

My comfort zone has been really messed with lately, well really like the last 3 years, and believe me I am ticked off about it too. I have hissed, growled, and been inconsolable too. So I understand how Baby and Charlie feel. I am sure that at some point they will all adjust to one another, just like I have had to adjust to a “new” comfort zone.  In the meantime I have unhappy cats.  Guess they will have to get over themselves, like I did.

“Mmmm, that’s good stuff!” November 8, 2009

Today we began anew.  At least that is how it seemed to me. 

October 31st 1999 John and I began a journey, together with family and some friends and started holding a church service on Sunday mornings.  We had been meeting as a Bible study on Thursday nights in a small office and then moved into a local elementary school.  So we started a journey that was exciting and we were anticipating the great things that God was going to do.  We named our church Maranatha Christian Fellowship. 

It was amazing to watch how the church grew and the relationships that were built because of it.  In the beginning John and his board of elders felt that the best type of advertising that we could do was by word of mouth.  That is how we grew.  We had a great youth ministry and worship team thanks to Scott, John’s brother.  John brought the Word and people were excited to invite their friends.  We would gather in someone’s home about once a month and shared a meal and we all became fast friends and ultimately family. 

I remember John saying that he wanted God to send us all the people who others didn’t want to love.  People that were hurting and wounded.  Some wounded by other people and some by church.  We saw this happen on a regular basis.  Some came and found the acceptance that they needed, some came and found the love and support that they had longed for in a church setting, and some came and found the family that they had been lacking. 

Several years later things began to change at the church.  Scott began to travel full-time and we hired a youth pastor/ worship leader.  That didn’t work out as well as planned but we pressed forward sensing a change coming.  John had had a vision of our church being torn down to its foundation and then God rebuilding it with the bricks that He had chosen. 

In the midst of things beginning to change for us at Maranatha, John had a church wide meeting and laid out a vision that he had for our church which included changing the church name.  The people got excited again and got on board with the name change.  We even decided together, to have a 21 day fast to start the new year & to pray together for the new direction we were going in.   We launched our new name, The Dwelling Place Community Church, on Easter Sunday of 2007.  

Somewhere in the mix though something happened.  I don’t really know what it was or do I understand it.  I still have moments of “what the heck” but whatever it was, it happened.  That church family that we had poured ourselves into, the ones we thought really had our backs, people who we had invested in spiritually, but more importantly personally, decided to…well…well they left.  There was no church ”scandal” (that might have made more sense), there was nothing going on that was ungodly or out-of-order, people just left.  I have said in the past here on this blog that it could have been that they saw it as a sinking ship and they better get off rather than go down with it.  John and I don’t really know.  What we do know, is that they are gone and it hurt.

Fast forward 10 years and one week to November 8, 2009.  Today our church, The Dwelling Place Community Church, started meeting in our home.  We currently own a beautiful building that sits on 5 1/2 acres.  We love that building.  It has our blood, sweat, and tears throughout.  It is a sad thing in a way to leave it behind but I am glad to.  Pray with us that it will sell soon.

I have watched people come and go in that building.  I found my best friend there and Jordan found hers.  I preached for the first time in that place, even though God had to force me to by keeping my speaker stranded on an airplane so that she couldn’t arrive on time.  I have decorated for weddings and Christmas Tea’s.  I threw Jordan’s blessing party for her 13th and her surprise 16th in that building.  Nathan was born just a couple of months before we moved in and I have raised him there.  Jonathan always climbed the shelf in John’s office to steal candy from the jar behind his desk there.  So lots of memories.  Good memories but today…today the memories start fresh, start anew.

Today we met in my home and started a new journey.  We started with a new and very different foundation.  We started with our friends and truthfully our family.  We started over today, started being what we are supposed to be…the church.  Church is not the building you meet in, it is you.  Today we ate, we prayed for one another, we worshipped, and we shared communion together.  Today Bryson (“my sunshine”) came and took a bite of communion bread from me and said “Mmmm, that’s good stuff”.  Now that is a memory; a good, new memory and he was right, Mmmm, that’s good stuff!

Bryson…My “Sunshine” October 22, 2009

Sunday morning when I got to church my friend Sarah was sitting in the sanctuary with her son Bryson.  She hopped up and told Bryson “let’s show Amy what you can do”.  She put him down and told him to walk to me and he did, for the first time.  I was super excited and of course we clapped and cheered him along!  There is nothing like a babies first steps.  They are so proud of themselves and we parents know that this new found talent only leads to our eyes needing to become more watchful.

Bryson repeated this new trick for every person who walked in that morning.  Over and over he walked to different people while we all cheered him on.  He giggled and laughed and clapped his own hands as we were all quite content with the show he was putting on for us. 

In the midst of watching Bryson’s new talent I had a few thoughts that I wanted to share with you.  First let me say that I had the high priviledge of being in the delivery room when he was born.  It was truly the most amazing experience that I have ever had.  (Yes, it was amazing when my children were born, but come on I was in pain, so that made this way better!)  I have been in his momma’s life since she was 16 and got to lead her to the Lord.  She is 10 years younger than I am and I am 39.  (I don’t want to reveal her age here, it might be embarrassing.)  So needless to say it has been a long time.  Watching her become a mother, when for years I watched her carry my kids around on her hip, was and is a neat thing.

Back to what I wanted to share, these are the things I observed Sunday morning.

Bryson is full of Joy.  He truly is greatly amused by himself and others around him.  He laughs all the time.  Sometimes they are fake laughs, which are immediately followed by real laughs because that is even funny to him.  You can’t possibly spend anytime around him without feeling full of joy yourself and if you are down, he is a pick me up quite like no other.  His giggles are infectious and I dare you not to laugh with him.

Bryson is loving.  He gives the greatest open mouth kisses to anyone who will dare ask for the slobber.  He hugs and when you least expect it he might pat you on the back when you hold him or my favorite lay his head on your chest, just for a moment.  He knows how to love in the purest way.

Bryson doesn’t doubt he is loved.  He lights up when he says momma and dada.  He grins when either of them come into the room.  He knows who loves him and he responds in ways that tell you how aware he is of that love.

Bryson trusts everyone.  It is hard for most of us to trust everyone we encounter.  Sometimes it is because we have been hurt by other people.  Sometimes those people are some that you thought would never hurt you, yet for whatever reason they do.  Bryson doesn’t have to guess about this person or that.  He knows that if he is taking his first steps towards you and then throws himself forward just as he gets to you (which he does), he knows that you are going to catch him.  He did it over and over, with everyone he walked to.  He has no fear of his relationship with you, he trusts you even if he just met you.  It is sad that we are so wounded in life that we can’t have that kind of trust, it is long gone.

Bryson knows his needs are going to be met.  Bryson is an eater, no doubt about it.  If you ever question whether he is fed, just squeeze his thighs!  He is one precious chunk of a kid.  He knows that when he is ready to eat, that someone is going to feed him.  He also knows who will share their dinner with him.  We meet at our house every Wednesday night and Bryson knows that he can share dinner with mom, dad, me, Josh, Kaci, well pretty much everybody would share but he knows that we’ll take care of him.  This week he was walking around the table and decided to “do his business” and he walked right over to Josh, touched his leg and then looked at me and said “tinky”.  He knew that either one of us would take care of it, he knew who to tell.  (Just for the record, I dodged the tinky bullet, sorry Ben.)   

Bryson knows his Daddy loves him.  Sadly some kids don’t know this simple fact.  Bryson doesn’t doubt it.  He adores his Daddy and it shows.  He loves to walk to his Daddy best, play guitar with his Daddy, and just to be held by his Daddy.  Ben is wrapped right around Bryson’s pinky and it is a joy to watch the two of them together.

What we can learn from Bryson.  God loves us, cares for us, meets our needs, we can always trust Him, He is loving, and brings joy.  He delights in us as we should delight in Him.  I am so glad that I get to see Jesus with skin on, when I watch Bryson.  He is a joy and I know that he  demonstrates God’s love for me and everyone around him, just by being Bryson.  This was evidenced by the entire church cheering him on Sunday morning.  That is the kind of church God wants.  A family of people sharing the joy of one another, honoring one another, and having one another’s back when we stumble.  For those of you who are a part of my “family”  I promise to catch you when you stumble, love you always, and prove myself trustworthy.  Thanks for honoring John and I this past Sunday.   It meant more than words can express.  Feeling honored hasn’t been something that I have felt.  Lots of other feelings but honored wasn’t one of them, so thank you.

I love you Bryson and thanks for being my “Sunshine”.

Why I haven’t written… October 17, 2009

I haven’t been writing on here for a long while now.  There are many reasons why I haven’t: too busy, not on the computer very often, enjoying Farmville too much on Facebook, but mostly because everything that I write here is seen by many people.  People who when they read the things that I say sometimes get overly offended by my words. 

I wrote a blog a long time ago, that to date is my most read, that made many people mad at me.  I wrote it from a very raw, deeply wounded place and entitled the blog: Warning My Emotional Rant.  I can tell you that the reason there was so much readership for that blog was because people were calling one another or emailing one another and saying “go read Amy’s blog, it’s awful (or offensive, or ungodly, or sinful, or whatever other description they used)”.

How come a person, who loves Jesus, can’t say how hurt they are or how devastated they feel.  Is it wrong that when people who you thought loved you, wound you and desert you, that you get really upset?  I thought that expressing my feelings here would help me process, and did until one day later when the “word on the street” was all about me and my offensive blog.  I didn’t mean to offend anyone, I was just expressing my hurt in words.  I couldn’t even put the words together that truly expressed my feelings, yet the words that I used were deemed wrong.  People couldn’t seem to remember the way I had loved them, supported them, encouraged them, been there for them, dealt with their emotional rants and never thought ill of them.  Something is wrong with that.  Something is really wrong with that. 

In the midst of all of this the one thing that I heard the Lord say to me was that I was not to defend myself.  I wanted so desperately to call people and explain, to make them understand, but God told me no.  This has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to do.  Do you know what it is like to know that there are inaccuracies in what people say and think and you are not allowed to respond to it.  At the same time I wanted to bless people out for treating me that way, for not remembering the good in our relationship and only focusing on the few words recorded on a blog site.

So the truth for me is that I haven’t been writing here, about how I really feel, or what I am going through for fear of the repercussions.  I don’t want to be a topic of discussion.  I just wanted to be able to be “real” here instead I feel like someone tied my hands and has restricted me from talking about where I really am emotionally, spiritually, and just where I am with life in general.  So instead, when I have written since then, I have been really cautious and guarded with my words.  I write about my kids or cakes I am making and not about the things that I am having to walk through personally.  How come that is fair? 

So I am just letting those of you who at one time were following my life here, this is why I have a hard time writing.  Because apparently it is ok for everyone else to voice their thoughts and feeling honestly but not for me.  However I am going to attempt to resume writing my thoughts and feelings here.  Maybe not as often as I would like but just as a way to process my life in words.  This is helpful to me.  So if you happen to be someone who was offended before, well…maybe it would be best for you to not read this blog anymore.  If you are truly interested in my life then remember the part of our relationship that ministered to you in your time of need.  I am only trying to press through the circumstances that I now face.  Don’t hold it against me.  I am still hurt and wounded. 

Truth be told at this point most of the offended people don’t give a rats behind about me and my blog anymore and I probably won’t be any point of discussion.  If however I am…think before you speak and cut a girl a break.

For those of you who love me, know me and my heart, who have my back, thanks for being in my life and supporting me.

Why can’t I ride the 4 wheeler? July 15, 2009

Just an update on Nathan.  He has seen the chiropractor every day this week and seems to be making some improvement with his range of motion.  The first day that we took him he could barely look up or down and that has improved greatly. 

He has been quite the trooper wearing the neck brace.  I have to make him lay down pretty frequently because it starts to ache after he has been up for a while.  So he gets to lay on the couch and ice his neck take a pill, that the chiropractor prescribed, 4 times a day. 

The worse part of the whole thing is that the doctor told him he couldn’t ride his Uncle Johnny’s 4 wheeler while he is in Delaware.  Today at the chiropractors he was bargaining with the doctor.  “Just one ride?” ”How about if I wear the neck thingy while I ride?”  Maybe I have a lawyer on my hands because every answer from the doctor brought a “counter offer” from Nathan.  Poor kid.

As for me I am recovering slowly, thanks for asking.  I am tired from having to remember to give Nate his pills and getting the ice pack from the freezer and under his neck, just right.  Let alone all the doctor’s appointments.  This has been really stressful but I imagine that I will survive it.  Who would’ve thought that I was going to have all this to deal with.  Being traumatized has been rough. I’m just saying…

This week I am making another cake for a friend, a Transformers cake.  I’ll have to post pictures when it is done.  I have lots of ideas running through my head but they are a bit muddled by the whole “Nathan is injured and I am traumatized” thing.  So if the cake is terrible I really can’t be held responsible.

My ER experience. July 14, 2009

I just want to share what happened in the Emergency Room while we were waiting to have Nathan seen by a doctor. 

We arrived at the ER at 8:12 p.m. Sunday July 12, 2009 and as the EMS guys were helping me down from the back of the ambulance another ambulance was backing up next to us.  We got inside only to be shuffled into a room out of the way of the trauma that was coming in the door.  (I mean I was traumatized doesn’t that count?!)  My baby was on a back board with complete with neck stabilizer and head taped down.  I think that it should count as trauma, I’m just saying.

We had a nurse come in and “assess” the patient, nobody even bothered to ask me if I was feeling faint, or needed something to calm me.  She determined that he didn’t have a fever, had good blood pressure, that he wasn’t bleeding anywhere, and that I was his mother.  Still no one asked about me…whatever.

Then within 15 minutes of our arrival I had the registration lady come in to get all of our information: insurance card (so they could get paid), address (where to find us if we didn’t send money), social security numbers for John (who is going to pay with or without insurance), if he was our kid (duh, he looks just like his dad) and then we were told they would be back to finalize paperwork soon (take our money/co-pay).

Registration lady comes back 2 1/2 hours later and says here is the final paperwork, sign here (yes, I promise to pay you and I know that you will hunt me down if I don’t), and would you like to pay cash or credit (seriously right here in the room with my hurt baby)?  I hand her my credit card for the pricey ER co-pay and out she goes, but not before we tell her that we still haven’t seen a doctor.  She does a good job of expressing concern, since we have been here since 8:12 p.m. (this is how I know what time I got there).  She tells us the doctor has been assigned to us and she doesn’t know why we haven’t been seen.  She does tell us that the TV on the wall can be turned on to distract Nate.  (Which just for the record, I had mentioned this to John 2+ hours ag0 and was promptly told, that it wasn’t a regular TV because the ER wouldn’t have those in rooms.)  Needless to say this was funny to me (remember I am still in shock and no one has even asked about “me”) because we could have been watching something with Nathan to pass the time. 

Nathan is still laying on a back board crying over the fact that the back of his head “hurts so bad” from laying on the hard plastic.  He wanted off that board and out of that collar.  The doctor finally comes in 3 hours later, taps his arms and legs with his “little man” hammer, makes him squeeze his fingers, lift his legs and then says, “I think he is fine but we want a CT scan and then we will know for sure if his neck is broke”.  Well thanks Dr. Seuss we knew he needed an x-ray of some type, duh.  (Are you sensing my irritation yet?)  He does agree to take the back board out from under him but not the collar.

The nurse who followed the doctor in the room told us that several traumas had come in and that they are really busy.  Now I have all kinds of sympathy for hurt and wounded people but my baby is still laying with an uncomfortable collar on and he is hungry and sleepy.  (So am I but I am sure no one even cares about that) 

At this point now Nathan has to pee, but he can’t get off the bed and the nice nurse lady hands me one of those handy dandy plastic jugs and runs out of the room as fast as possible and leaves me with the job of helping Nate pee.  John is saying “I’m not touching him”  I’m just thinking this would be easier if I had a little help.  Yes, I got a little spray but no spillage, that is what you call success.  Nothing that a good hand wash with some soap won’t cure.

4  hours into our visit to the ER we have now found ourselves witness, via our ears, to a young man told that he has a broken pelvis in light of the 4 wheeler accident he had while under the influence.  We heard the policeman administer the Breathalyzerand then subsequently read him his rights.  Then we heard the man dissolve into hysterical crying upon learning that his girlfriend who was on the 4 wheeler with him had died.   

We heard 1 elderly man choking on the fluid in his lungs and moaning to leave, though he was in no shape to leave.  We saw another elderly man crawl down in the floor and lay down because they wouldn’t let him leave.  He hadn’t been going to dialysis and his kidneys were failing. 

So at 4 hours into our visit they finally come to get Nathan to have a CT scan and they roll us through the hallways of the ER and just like the TV show, the halls are lined with people with no room to go into.  It’s surreal.  Then they leave Nate in the hall outside the CT room to wait.  The CT tech makes some adjustments to Nate’s bed and in the process flashes John with more crack then he ever wanted to see.  Thankfully I am spared this “show”. 

I got to go into the room with Nathan while they did the scan and then we rolled him back to the room, still in the neck brace to await the results.  1:00 a.m, July 13th the doctor comes in and tells us that he still has a neck (idiot) and that it isn’t broken.  He takes off the collar and does nothing but tell us that he has torn ligaments in his neck and then 5 seconds later that it is badly strained.  I was left not really knowing what was wrong, other then he wasn’t broken.  He tells us to give him Motrin and then he leaves.  We begin to help Nathan up to leave and then the boy, who has been laying there that whole time not complaining over the neck pain, begins to hurt again so badly that he basically drops into his dad’s arms and begins to shake violently with pain.  We had to lay him back across the bed.  Now I am one hostile momma!  That ding dang doctor never stayed around to see if he could even get up, to check his range of motion, or anything that seemed at all compassionate towards my baby!  I looked at the nurse and said to her, “This is why I put him in an ambulance and brought him here.”  All she had to offer me was a Motrin before we left and she did manage to bring a wheelchair. 

That ride home was the most awful thing.  He cried in pain all the way home (without any neck brace because the doctor apparently found no need for one) while I rode in the back trying to hold his head still and John trying not to hit any big bumps.  John had to carry him up the stairs to his room ( he cried in pain the whole way) where I fed him at 2:00 a.m. while he laid down.  We prayed that he would recover overnight.

Next day a visit to the chiropractor got us an actual diagnosis (severely strained neck with vertebra out of place), a plan of “attack” for a cure, and crazy as it sounds, a neck brace to wear for at least 2 weeks!  Oh and I was comforted in the process…go figure! 

So note to self: heaven forbid there is a next time but if there is a next time, that we have a  possible neck break, stabilize the patient, take swig of something calming and call the chiropractor for a house call!  ER’s are for people who don’t really want a diagnosis, people who want to wait a really long time, no sympathy offered for mom, and for people who want to hear tragedy all around you.  Oh, and the ER does have TV’s for your viewing pleasure (my co-pay probably took care of that).